Note: It was a great challenge to write this, mostly because of some fear that you may feel a different way. But because I believe more strongly in truth and overcoming fear, I'm going ahead and saying what I feel. I invite any comments below and appreciate compassion and openness in our dialogue.
Going to Israel and Palestine has brought up so much for me. The fact that I went there in the first place with a free Jewish tour already brings much complication and had me pondering my Jewish identity. I already felt Jew-"ish" before, and then seeing how far I am from the particular Israeli-Jewish experience as well as much of the rituals and customs of Judaism, I wonder what small sliver of my identity could really claim to be Jewish. Definitely human. Northern Californian, yes. Female, artist, sister, daughter. I relate to all these in my day to day life. However, I now in some way feel less Jewish than before. After going to Palestine and putting faces to the people who no longer have control over their land, homes and access to basic life essentials, I can't ignore this reality. I wonder how the Jewish people, who for so long have experienced being outsiders and having the collective wounding of not having a homeland, could use tactics of systematically tearing down villages and bombing refugee camps? This saddens me and I feel myself wanting to separate from this behavior, from the Israeli government. It was wise for the IDF to enlist all young people so they could get the shared experience of defending their country. This is not to say that each young Israeli enjoys it. Many do not and I talked to a few people about it. That being said, the government gets a direct chance to indoctrinate every person at the age of 18 with the mentality that we should be scared of Arab people, of Palestinians and Muslim people. That they do not belong here and we should always be wary and fearful that they may at any time harm you. Of course there has been violence also committed by Palestinians. This started the fear, one could say, but this does not add up to the apartheid actions the Israeli government has placed on Palestine, or the outright murder it has done in the last week on refugees who have a fraction of the weapons and technology the IDF possesses.
Jews have been searching for their homeland for thousands of years, a place to be safe and put down roots and practice their beliefs. This is understood and valid, but I don't believe the fight is worth it when the wounds that need healing get turned around and done to another people. Palestine was not empty when it was declared a Jewish State. Let us accept this truth, firstly; to acknowledge that there are human beings who also need the basic human right to have a home.